And Away he goes....

I knew the day would come when my 16-year old would slide in behind that driver's wheel by himself. I would be fully absent. He would drive away without me sitting in the passenger seat navigating his turns, critiquing his stops, voicing encouraging words whenever he would second-guess himself, and changing the radio station when deemed necessary. I knew the day would come when I wouldn't be the one sitting in the passenger seat laughing alongside my eldest handsome gent and jamming to those radio tunes with him. He would be sitting in that driver's seat by his lonesome self as he made his way to work. 

On his own. 

100% solo. 

He's legal! 

Watching Austin drive out of our narrowly paved woodsy driveway for that very first time with an even greater sense of freedom at his back may have given this mama a greater sense of anxiousness and prayerfulness all in the same breath. And I don't shy away from the fact that a few tears escaped slowly dampening my cheeks. Remember what it was like when you sent your baby boy to Kindergarten on that very first day? It was that. But with a higher intensity. A greater sense of the "letting go's" that all of us mama's know are coming and yet we seem to think that they'll take their sweet time. But in all transparency, they don't. They are swift and fleeting. 

Away he goes....

I'm so grateful that these "letting go" moments are spread out over the years and not all back-to-back like a falling domino snake chain. This particular mama's heart couldn't handle it!

With each time that my son has driven away with just himself behind the wheel, the letting go has gotten a little easier. Oh, the anxiousness & prayerfulness has never fully left, but my trust in him has grown each time. As Austin left for work after only a few days of doing the whole "driving by himself" routine, he said to me, "Mom...it gets lonely sometimes. It's just so quiet!" When I asked him why that mattered or why he didn't take advantage of those solitude minutes (even in rush hour traffic), his response made this mama's heart sing a little bit. 

"Because I like when you're with me. I like laughing and our chatting and random opera singing from time to time..." 

That. I will cling to that. 

Capture those moments with your young gents' fellow mamas. Be ok with being silly...and obnoxious. Someday they'll miss it.