Surgery...Family...

To say that the last few days have been identical to that of a whirlwind would be pretty accurate. If you had to measure my emotional status over the past 5 days, I can almost guarantee that it would have been off the charts on both ends. There has been a whole gamut of mixed feelings and emotions going in and out of the revolving doors of the Anderson household. And even as I begin to write about all that just occurred, I think I'm still, in a way, processing through it all. Maybe even "recovering" right along with Carson in some sense. So, let's just start where we left off last time...in that anticipation phase of what we were about to experience. My mom and sisters pulled into our driveway on Friday evening and the squeals and exclaims were heard throughout the neighborhood I'm sure! We took advantage of the next hours we would spend together and the memory-making began! 

Carson with Auntie Karla!

Coffee around the table...FINALLY! :)

Grandma and Mason

Bubble time!! :)

I love my mama....

 And the spoiling with "gifts" begins...

Thanks Aunties--all set for some MN Twins baseball!

A new stuffed animal for Carson from Grandma--he took it with to Reno

Thanks Grandma!!!

 Sunday arrived and with it, so did a little coffee shop visit with my girls--a needed respite before taking off to Reno. We also took advantage of the beautiful weather after church and did some photo-ops, and of course got a freshly updated "sister picture"! I have a frame already (thanks Kari!) that will hold one of these fun photos. 

mama and her girls with our delish coffees! :)

sisters....sisters....

I love my sisters!!!

my fam. with my mama and sistas!!

 That afternoon we all bid our teary farewells and headed off to Reno--just the three of us (me, Andy, Carson)--see, I told you emotions were all over the board. I was excited that my other 2 boys were in "good hands" and about to be spoiled silly by their Grandma and aunts...I was bummed that Carson would miss out on some of that time. I was nervous for Carson and just wanting to be on the "other side" of it all. I couldn't get to Monday afternoon fast enough! (and in hindsight...to Tuesday morning fast enough...) I was filled with peace, nervousness, joy, tears, optimism, anxiousness. Emotional overload. 
 For a quick "recap" as to why Carson had surgery--he had what was called a Congenital Cholesteatoma in his left ear: a cyst that he was born with that has been growing on his ear bones. Removal was essential. This surgery was to remove as much as (if not all) of the cyst as possible, but it was about to be a very invasive surgery...and a long one. 3 1/2 hours long. We arrived at the hospital bright and early Monday morning...5:50am early. And unfortunately, already a little weary not having slept hardly at all the night before. Some of our worries prior to surgery were put to rest as Carson was doing great with all the pre-op...I couldn't have asked for that part to go more smoothly!

 In the waiting room after being checked-in...

All ready to go!!

After giving the final kisses, we watched as they wheeled him back to the OR and then headed to the little hospital coffee shop in desperate need for a mocha. We headed back upstairs and the waiting began. The constant praying was in full force. Our cell phone became a near continuous stream of texts filled with encouragement, verses, etc. from our dear family and friends. Verses written on index cards became a lifeline. Magazine pages were flipped but not really looked at. The clock on the wall did not "tick-tock" fast enough. The phrase "God's got this" replayed like a peaceful broken record in my mind. And finally 3 1/2 hours later...a nurse called "mom of Carson" to the recovery room. I think I literally shot out of my chair and barely felt the legs beneath me carrying me to my boy. I was once again "warned" that my son was having a hard time coming out of the anesthesia. You remember the last time, right? Well...it was pretty similar, only this time I did expect to walk into seeing my son surrounded by about 4-5 nurses once again....but did not expect to see what appeared to be a giant-sized plastic earmuff on Carson's left ear. It was at first horrific and just plain old huge! I knew it would be bandaged in someway but the vision in my mind beheld a little something in the smaller range. They wasted no time in allowing me to climb right next to Carson in the bed--I hadn't even seen the doctor yet so I had no idea how the surgery went--I only know this boy needed his mama to help calm him down. This time around, he was a little more aggressive, frustrated at all the "stuff" that was on and around him. He went from ripping his "ear bandage" off his ear, to pulling at his IV, to throwing the oxygen tube/cup at a nurse...not all at once, but at random (and sometimes consecutive) times within that first half hour. Quite uncharacteristic of my little man. He was crying, wanting to go home...and when the calmness did finally come, I asked him if I could scratch his arm. In his tiny little scared, shaky voice he replied: "No. Sing to me mommy." He laid his head on my chest and the repetition of Jesus Loves Me, You Are My Sunshine, and Jesus Loves The Little Children began. At one point, during one of his 'rants', I will have to say that we experienced a rather, um, not-so-sensitive nurse and she had the audacity to literally get in my son's face (seriously...she was about an inch from his nose) and all the while holding his shoulders back, sternly tell him "You have got to stop kicking Carson. Stop being so naughty!" (she then firmly repeated that last statement) I KNOW some of you were praying at that exact moment because it took all the will power I had to bite my tongue and not bite her head off! Mama bear's claws were about to be unleashed. Naughty? A five year old who has been under anesthesia for 4 hours?? It was a few moments later at her extended comment to me of "wow, mom. You must really have your hands full with him" that I slowly turned my head to the left with my eyes filled to the brim with tears and mumbled underneath my breath to a quiet and peacefully calm nurse, "this behavior is not normal for him." I didn't know what else to do. By God's grace (and probably some other keen ears who heard her rude comments) I never saw that nurse again after her final comment...but only ones that were so very patient and understanding and caring. Whirlwind. Emotions running high. Steady stream of prayers. A few more tears. On our way to the second recovery room was when Andy joined us. It wasn't until then that I got the full report of how Carson's surgery went. I had the "it went great" line given to me from the nurses, but I wanted the nitty-gritty doctor details. Thankfully, Carson slept off and on in the first and second recovery room so Andy and I had a chance to talk about it all. And we even had to wake him up in order for them to let us go.

sleeping in the second recovery room

So...here's the breakdown. It was a success! No nerve damage whatsoever (praise!!!), the cyst did not touch the mastoid bone, and the doctor was very optimistic in his claim of removing all of the cyst that he could see. Carson is down to just half of an ear bone (everyone has 3) due to the cyst literally destroying them and nearly disintegrating 2 of them. So yes, reconstruction of those ear bones will be a definite in his future. We will see our doctor again in 2 weeks and then decide as to when the next surgery will take place. That surgery will be to make sure there is no regrowth but if there is, to once again remove it. The praying continues.
      
We had taken my uncle's wise advice to stay in Reno Monday night and I can't tell you how thankful we did--being able to just let Carson continue working through the anesthesia without having to drive here and there and bring him back to brothers and family anxious to see him proved to be the right thing. He slept off and on for most of the afternoon and into the evening in our hotel room. Exhaustion all-around. I felt like I had been through a battle. It wasn't until I was on the phone with my mom that I sorta "lost it" and the strength finally gave way to the floodgates.  

watching cartoons in the hotel room

snoozing away....

 After a long nauseating (literally) Monday, all 3 of us finally got a good night's rest and Tuesday morning, Carson woke up with a few tears of wanting to "go home and see my family." But minutes later, he cracked a smile. I nearly cried!! The day before he was almost too weak to even talk--he would point at things, no smiles, only small mutterings of words, etc. So when he actually told me in sentence form that "I'm hungry mama. I want some breakfast" I just about jumped out of my skin!! Our Carson was slowly coming back. We did just that. Got some breakfast and came home to our family. 

Carson smiling as he opens a little package from nanny!

The next hours were spent retelling of what had happened just 24 hours earlier, Austin and Carson getting their AWANA awards, laughing with my mom and sisters and hubby over the silliest of things (a puppy puzzle?!), cracking jokes, but it was the perfect medicine for this mama's aching heart. Here's the recap of those photos from those awards (I'm SO PROUD of my boys!!) and other random family snapshots. 

helping Grandma with a puppy puzzle

Award night for AWANA!!

Carson--his last year in Cubbies, so next year he's a Sparkie!! (what?!?!)

Austin's second book award for Sparks!!!

So proud of my two boys!

The final puzzle--my mom bought this for Austin :)

one final bowl of oatmeal together

Saying goodbye--one final swing!

Carson giving hugs to Auntie Karla

Carson and daddy working on his new "prize"..a camping lego rig

I will simply close this post by saying thank you--thank you to soooooooo many countless family members and friends who were lifting up our Carson in prayer. Thank you for the ways you have blessed our family with gifts to my boys (especially Carson!), with meals, cards, phone calls, etc. And of course, thank you to my mom and sisters who drove all this way to create more memories and just "be here" for me and my boys. Blessed. Truly, truly blessed.